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A Day in the Life

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 Wow. It has been way too long since I posted. But I am back! Can't say I am back and better than ever but I am back! As I write this, I am in a hotel room for work. Every 4-6 weeks I am trying to visit my facility and have some meetings, see some faces. I normally work remote and remote in a closet. A closet? Yes, my desk set up is in the playroom closet. The playroom used to be an office and storage room for us but once I had children, I turned into a fun environment. We have a chalkboard wall, Barbie dreamhouse, kitchen and 1,000 little toys all over.  I figured I would say the day I had earlier this week. It was a little hectic, but we can do hard things, right? Mornings continue to be a little hectic, getting two littles out the door and getting on AM work calls, early cut offs all make for a little crazy. I ran my daughter to preschool, and we forgot her lunch and water, so back home we went for that. I then had minutes to squeeze in an hour of work before I had to then ...
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ER, PREK, COVID

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  ACT 1: My youngest ended up in the ER, she was walking weird and seemed to be in discomfort. Add in extra fussiness and not wanting to be put down. We figured she landed wrong or fell on her leg, which is common as a wild 18-month-old. After 6+ hours at the local ER, nothing came back on the X-ray or the lab work. We were relived but it was an exhausting night. It is so hard to watch your child get blood drown and all those tests done, necessary to rule out infection but you wish they could poke you instead. And it made me feel extra grateful we have a healthy child. Parents who do multiple visits or long hospital stays, you are warriors! My thoughts are with all of you and hands on your back!  ACT 2: My oldest started VPK the next morning. I decided to miss my 8 AM meeting, 8 AM meetings aren’t easy for me by the way. It’s a quick call usually but nonetheless, it’s a rat race to be available by 8 with 2 kids to drop off etc. My husband and I both took our daughter to pr...
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Addiction in America

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Today I got two updates about family members. Two of which are younger than me and in recovery. One was picked up off the streets and accepted to go into detox, which will then transition to a rehab. This individual is also a parent of two young children.  The other is away finishing rehab and transitioning to a sober living center. I won't go into detail for their respect, and I also don't know all the details.  So, why am I sharing this? Because we all know someone. We all know someone who is an active addict or in active recovery. We all know someone who lost their life to drugs or alcohol. I lost my brother to a heroin overdose.  After hearing these updates today, it had me thinking about my brother and all the people I know affected by addiction.  How did we all get here? That is a loaded question. But I think there are many factors. Trauma- current and/or childhood trauma, environment, genetics, mental health- which that goes deep too. We are starting to crack ...
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Parental leave

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Lately I find myself more and more distraught by the lack of paid parental leave and support. I'm 99% sure I am done having babies, so I won't have to endure this stressful period again. And how sad that it is so stressful. Yes, the haters will say it's my choice or your choice to have children. So, it's our own issue to work out and no one else's responsibility. But what happened to the village? To the thought of a community? And supporting one another, supporting mothers.  My first child, my company covered 60% of my salary through the disability. and 1 month later, in the next year they were covering 100% of the disability period. Of course, I tried to ask if they could make the exception for me but then they'd have to do it for everyone in the corporation. Lucky me, ended up with a c-section so I got 2 additional weeks of 60% pay. But there is a 1 week waiting period in there too and you get nothing for that week!  I'd love to have time to learn the rese...
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Guilt

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Why do moms feel so much guilt? Today, I had an 18 month check up with my youngest daughter. The doctor was asking me how many words we are saying. And I'm thinking well, mama, dada, thank you and the rest I am not so sure of. And she looked at me perplexed that I didn't have the exact count. I asked how many words she should be articulating and it's 10-20 words. I instantly think we have to hurry home and start doing the word books!  So then mom guilt and failure infiltrates. Another question I got; does she know her body parts? I'm like this is part of the wellness check at 18 months! I instantly think, we have to add working on body parts to the list.  Then, she asked if we did swim lessons yet. And I know the importance of water safety, I am a big advocate of it, but I haven't found a replacement yet for our prior swim instructor. And I was reminded on how important that is to do. Then, they ask how she is eating. and I think well, we lived off mac & cheese ...
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My Mission

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 I am on this mission to find my purpose and I won't stop until I get there. I am gainfully employed but I have fallen into a career path that just isn't fulfilling to who I am, what I stand for and who I want to be. I don't have enough satisfaction anymore from it. You can be successful at something but that doesn't mean it is satisfying to you. I am in the process now of sorting all of this out. I want to work with a company that empowers working parents and really supports them. Or a company that is fighting for change in society and making a difference.  My husband is super supportive of all my ideas. There are days he tells me this is the hand I was dealt in the moment. But the hand I have right now isn't good enough. I need the flush baby (is that the best hand? I don't gamble) or whatever the best hand is...that is what I want! Because I was destined for GREAT and AMAZING things. And they will come.  I have laid the groundwork to my own Nonprofit in the m...
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Pre baby

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I like to start Saturday mornings by going for a jog or walk with my daughters. Of course, this entails packing endless snacks and bribing my oldest with my cell phone. She gets to go on YouTube kids for a little entertainment. Otherwise, she really doesn't want to sit in a stroller for an hour.  I don't do this because I have to lose weight. Sure, I am 20 pounds heavier than I was before my second pregnancy. Which sounds alarming and like a lot when I write this out. I need movement in my life. Movement is medicine for me, it is another form of therapy. I LOVE to sweat. One of the perks of living in Florida, you semi pass out from the heat in July ha. But I get to do this! How lucky am I to be able to move my body and force my girls along for the ride? They do enjoy it though and we run thru the sprinklers, they go off at 8 AM!  Since my second pregnancy, I have shifted to focusing on celebrating what my body can do. Like carry full-term pregnancies and recover from c-section...
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